Is there a secret love spell you can cast to get your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to return your phone calls? It might sound too good to be true, but there are words that will cast a spell over your ex and have them calling you back almost instantly.
Sounds good, eh?
Before I tell you let me sound a warning. If you use this one tip alone you may actually damage your relationship. It needs to be part of an overall strategy to get your ex back and create a happy, lasting relationship.
Before I give the magic words I want to tell you a message that almost never works. Worse than that, it will place you in a terrible psychological disadvantage...
It's called the pleading message... or the begging message...
"Kim, I want you to please, pretty please call me. This is my twelfth phone call and you're not returning my calls. I must talk to you right now, today. "
Also avoid the ugly cousin of the pleading call which is known as the emergency call...
"Mike, it's an emergency. Please call me as soon as you get this." Now, it's obvious what's wrong with both of these messages, so I won't explain them.
Rabu, 31 Desember 2008
Minggu, 28 Desember 2008
Hex - A Novel of Love Spells by Darieck Scott
Hex is not only a novel of love spells, but also the love of relationships, unrequited and sex. It contains elements of the supernatural, occult and horror. Throughout the story and more importantly, it has a wonderful sense of humor.
The novel opens in Miami, where news of Castro's death has sent the city into a frenzy of excitement and celebration, especially among the gay Cubans. Several friends visiting get caught in the midst of the revelry and strange sightings of the supposedly past-on Cuban dictator. Langston Fleetwood, his straight(?) best friend Azaril, friends Reynaldo and Quentin search for Damian who vanished under very serious circumstances during one of these episodes. Their quest takes Langston and Azaril to Key West where Langston's Aunt Reginia, a respected and formidable psychic sends the foursome on a journey that takers them to the campus of Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut to New York City and back to Miami. They learn the strange and bizarre family history of their friend Damian, are stalked by a warlock bent on capturing their secrets and a poor little rich girl who is an odd wild card with the power to bend time and space. In the midst of the chaos, Azaril disappears in a fashion very similar to Damian's.
Scott's writing takes a little getting used to at first, since he writes in the present tense. His prose gets a bit wordy at times but he soon grabs the readers and pulls them into a fantastic world of alternative universes, sorcery and the joy and heartaches of gay love. At six hundred and one pages, Hex is a lengthy read but again Scott doesn't forget his readers. One could easily get bogged down on some of the lengthy descriptions, but not with this author. He keeps us grounded and back in the story, experiencing the action instead of merely reading it.
I found myself absorbing Aunt Reginia Jameson Wolfe's teachings to Langston to the point that I actually reacted as she did when he asked her a question about the powers in which he was tapping. That's great writing when you can connect with a character so closely.
Although a powerful psychic, Reginia remains down-to-earth and fiercely protective of her family, including her two sons, typical teenagers in their own world, clueless as to the scope of events happening around them. Reginia is not bothered by four o' clock in the morning phone calls from her nephew unless, of course, he interrupts her favorite movies. She has some of the best lines in the entire book.
Another character that injects humor into the story is the rich Roan Gillory. She accidentally turns her husband into a dog, morphs her hotel room into a tropical rain forest, and moves it out of the real of the hotel's physical reality. Roan never completely loses touch with her earthly side as she checks out the warlock's butt and admits to Langston that she wouldn't mind making out with his aunt.
The fascinating climax, the rescue of Damian and Azaril, is a journey into the alternate realities with Aunt Reginia leading the way and taking charge. On a hysterical note, as they emerge from the experience, the five young men discover that Reginia used the power they tapped into to bless their already significant endowments and give herself and Roan Gillory a nip and tuck. Who among us wouldn't take the same advantage of an opportunity like that for a little physical enhancement?
Hex is one of the best books I've ever read and certainly the best in gay literature. The not-too-happy ending is a nice dose of reality when Langston must give up the love of his life, Azaril. This digression from the usual pretty-boy-gets-pretty-boy-in-the-end (no pun intended) kept it real and that's the biggest thing I applaud Darieck Scott. He gives us a powerful love story complete with sci-fi and fantasy elements that blissfully casts a love spell on its readers and keeps them enchanted to the end.
The novel opens in Miami, where news of Castro's death has sent the city into a frenzy of excitement and celebration, especially among the gay Cubans. Several friends visiting get caught in the midst of the revelry and strange sightings of the supposedly past-on Cuban dictator. Langston Fleetwood, his straight(?) best friend Azaril, friends Reynaldo and Quentin search for Damian who vanished under very serious circumstances during one of these episodes. Their quest takes Langston and Azaril to Key West where Langston's Aunt Reginia, a respected and formidable psychic sends the foursome on a journey that takers them to the campus of Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut to New York City and back to Miami. They learn the strange and bizarre family history of their friend Damian, are stalked by a warlock bent on capturing their secrets and a poor little rich girl who is an odd wild card with the power to bend time and space. In the midst of the chaos, Azaril disappears in a fashion very similar to Damian's.
Scott's writing takes a little getting used to at first, since he writes in the present tense. His prose gets a bit wordy at times but he soon grabs the readers and pulls them into a fantastic world of alternative universes, sorcery and the joy and heartaches of gay love. At six hundred and one pages, Hex is a lengthy read but again Scott doesn't forget his readers. One could easily get bogged down on some of the lengthy descriptions, but not with this author. He keeps us grounded and back in the story, experiencing the action instead of merely reading it.
I found myself absorbing Aunt Reginia Jameson Wolfe's teachings to Langston to the point that I actually reacted as she did when he asked her a question about the powers in which he was tapping. That's great writing when you can connect with a character so closely.
Although a powerful psychic, Reginia remains down-to-earth and fiercely protective of her family, including her two sons, typical teenagers in their own world, clueless as to the scope of events happening around them. Reginia is not bothered by four o' clock in the morning phone calls from her nephew unless, of course, he interrupts her favorite movies. She has some of the best lines in the entire book.
Another character that injects humor into the story is the rich Roan Gillory. She accidentally turns her husband into a dog, morphs her hotel room into a tropical rain forest, and moves it out of the real of the hotel's physical reality. Roan never completely loses touch with her earthly side as she checks out the warlock's butt and admits to Langston that she wouldn't mind making out with his aunt.
The fascinating climax, the rescue of Damian and Azaril, is a journey into the alternate realities with Aunt Reginia leading the way and taking charge. On a hysterical note, as they emerge from the experience, the five young men discover that Reginia used the power they tapped into to bless their already significant endowments and give herself and Roan Gillory a nip and tuck. Who among us wouldn't take the same advantage of an opportunity like that for a little physical enhancement?
Hex is one of the best books I've ever read and certainly the best in gay literature. The not-too-happy ending is a nice dose of reality when Langston must give up the love of his life, Azaril. This digression from the usual pretty-boy-gets-pretty-boy-in-the-end (no pun intended) kept it real and that's the biggest thing I applaud Darieck Scott. He gives us a powerful love story complete with sci-fi and fantasy elements that blissfully casts a love spell on its readers and keeps them enchanted to the end.
Kamis, 25 Desember 2008
How to Have Money, Love, Great Health, Success - It's Simple If You Properly Apply a Universal Law
Yes, you can have what you want. Is it money? Is it love? Is it health? Is it success? You can have what you want. You can have it all. How do you do it? You decide. Life is a decision. You can have money, happiness, health, success. You decide.
Is it possible in this economy? YES. It is especially possible because of this economy. It's possible because while everyone is taking the elevator down getting more and more negative by the day, you decide to get more and more positive and more and more positive will come your way.
This economy is a great demonstration to us of how the universe works. Negative collects negative like lint collects lint. Check out the news if you don't believe negative is collecting negative. On second thought, please do not check out the news. The news is the negative that is generating the negative.
The good news is, as you watch this phenomenon of more and more negative cascading downward, you can see by the very same universal law, you can spin upward. Just as negative collects negative, positive attracts positive. The more positive you get, the more positive comes your way.
Money, love, health, success, are all synonyms with positive. As you get more positive, your get more money, as you get more money, you get more love, as you get more love, you get more healthy, as you get more healthy, you get more success. All those words are interchangeable.
You can see that by witnessing what is happening with the negativity going on --- negativity generated by people believing what the news is telling them. You can see the more negative, the more unhappy, the more unhealthy, the more non loving, the more and more negative and scared people are getting in a downward spiral.
Decide to use that law in your favor. Watch the universal law so obviously at work with all the negativism. Decide to be positive in spite of all that is going on and decide to use the same law to get more and more positive. Decide to collect positive, decide to spin upward where you can have the money, the love, the happiness, the health---all the goodness of life.
It's just a decision.
You do not have to be run by the negativity in the world. Be positive in spite of all of that and watch what happens. You will be very pleasantly surprised.
Is it possible in this economy? YES. It is especially possible because of this economy. It's possible because while everyone is taking the elevator down getting more and more negative by the day, you decide to get more and more positive and more and more positive will come your way.
This economy is a great demonstration to us of how the universe works. Negative collects negative like lint collects lint. Check out the news if you don't believe negative is collecting negative. On second thought, please do not check out the news. The news is the negative that is generating the negative.
The good news is, as you watch this phenomenon of more and more negative cascading downward, you can see by the very same universal law, you can spin upward. Just as negative collects negative, positive attracts positive. The more positive you get, the more positive comes your way.
Money, love, health, success, are all synonyms with positive. As you get more positive, your get more money, as you get more money, you get more love, as you get more love, you get more healthy, as you get more healthy, you get more success. All those words are interchangeable.
You can see that by witnessing what is happening with the negativity going on --- negativity generated by people believing what the news is telling them. You can see the more negative, the more unhappy, the more unhealthy, the more non loving, the more and more negative and scared people are getting in a downward spiral.
Decide to use that law in your favor. Watch the universal law so obviously at work with all the negativism. Decide to be positive in spite of all that is going on and decide to use the same law to get more and more positive. Decide to collect positive, decide to spin upward where you can have the money, the love, the happiness, the health---all the goodness of life.
It's just a decision.
You do not have to be run by the negativity in the world. Be positive in spite of all of that and watch what happens. You will be very pleasantly surprised.
Senin, 22 Desember 2008
For the Love of Your Child
If you are a new parent or a parent of many, take a minute to remind yourself that you want to continue to show your love to your child.
Make and set time for your children, if it is just reading. Children love the tone of your voice. This is your quiet time.
Always use positive words. Give confidence to your child with phrases such as "You can do it!", "Good job!" This will give your child sense of worth by praising and this will show the child that you are interested in what your child is saying.
Examine your child's activities and provide methods daily. Keeping meals at regular times, and bedtimes on a schedule will teach children good habits. Make routines and traditions.
Pay attention to what your child is doing. Include your child. Share things with him/her. Share your child's small triumphs. They may be little to you, but very big to them.
Look at your child when you are talking. Give them that personal attention. Share with them their thoughts. Sharing will allow them to come to you when they have a problem.
Always set a good example at home and in public with words like "I'm sorry," "please," and "thank you." At all times, avoid name-calling or unkind words when you become angry with your child. Steer away from tension.
Affection is the best gesture ever for your child. Give your child a hug, kiss or cuddle. Do not forget to say, "I love you."
Remember, love and happiness.
Make and set time for your children, if it is just reading. Children love the tone of your voice. This is your quiet time.
Always use positive words. Give confidence to your child with phrases such as "You can do it!", "Good job!" This will give your child sense of worth by praising and this will show the child that you are interested in what your child is saying.
Examine your child's activities and provide methods daily. Keeping meals at regular times, and bedtimes on a schedule will teach children good habits. Make routines and traditions.
Pay attention to what your child is doing. Include your child. Share things with him/her. Share your child's small triumphs. They may be little to you, but very big to them.
Look at your child when you are talking. Give them that personal attention. Share with them their thoughts. Sharing will allow them to come to you when they have a problem.
Always set a good example at home and in public with words like "I'm sorry," "please," and "thank you." At all times, avoid name-calling or unkind words when you become angry with your child. Steer away from tension.
Affection is the best gesture ever for your child. Give your child a hug, kiss or cuddle. Do not forget to say, "I love you."
Remember, love and happiness.
Kamis, 18 Desember 2008
Can You Make Your Man Love You More? - Find Out How
As women our relationships rate very high on our list of important things. In fact, having a healthy, loving and balanced relationship can enrich every area of our lives. Unfortunately sometimes we are in a relationship in which we feel our man is as invested as we are. There are things you can do to make your man love you more if this is the case.
One way to make your man love you more is to make him feel great about himself. Men are most drawn to women who make them feel like a better man. If you compliment him and encourage him, he'll feel closer to you. The trick with this is to not go overboard though. You don't want to fawn all over him and make him feel as though he can do no wrong. You do want him to know that you recognize his strengths and what is unique about him. If you do this with your man, starting right now, you'll notice him opening up to you emotionally.
Also, if you want to make your man love you more don't become too dependent on him. As much as we're lead to believe that men want to be our knights in shining armor, they actually love when we fend for ourselves. Men adore women who are self sufficient and capable of just about anything. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't turn to him for assistance every now and again, but time it right. Show him that you are confident and capable. He'll be instantly drawn to your strength and he'll find you completely irresistible.
One way to make your man love you more is to make him feel great about himself. Men are most drawn to women who make them feel like a better man. If you compliment him and encourage him, he'll feel closer to you. The trick with this is to not go overboard though. You don't want to fawn all over him and make him feel as though he can do no wrong. You do want him to know that you recognize his strengths and what is unique about him. If you do this with your man, starting right now, you'll notice him opening up to you emotionally.
Also, if you want to make your man love you more don't become too dependent on him. As much as we're lead to believe that men want to be our knights in shining armor, they actually love when we fend for ourselves. Men adore women who are self sufficient and capable of just about anything. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't turn to him for assistance every now and again, but time it right. Show him that you are confident and capable. He'll be instantly drawn to your strength and he'll find you completely irresistible.
Senin, 15 Desember 2008
Executive Drug Rehab - Why Executives Love This Treatment Option
Executive Drug Rehab is a niche of alcohol and drug treatment that is growing in popularity. These treatment options are becoming more and more popular because of the advantages these programs offer to their customers. Here, we take a look at some of the benefits of these programs.
1. Heightened level of privacy and security
One significant issue that many executives worry about is the release of private information about their drug use or information they state about their company in their counseling sessions. Executive drub rehab is ideally suited to deal with these issues because these facilities have a higher level of privacy and security measures and standards than other regular facilities. This is good news for execs because it means they can feel more comfortable opening up in sessions allowing them to get more out of the drug treatment program.
2. Staff and programs dedicated specifically to executive issues
When you have staff and programs focused on a particular issue or group of clients, it is far easier to develop effective programs for them. The staff and doctors learn from experience what issues are the most important and what negative behaviors are more likely to become problems with execs. In addition, the participants have a higher level of respect and belief in the program because they know that the staff and doctors have experience dealing with patients like them in the past.
3. Groups are made up entirely of similarly situated individuals
Many people benefit by simply knowing that other people in the room deal with the same struggles. Hearing about others challenges with their jobs and businesses can actually help others open up about their experiences. The result is the groups become more close knit and individuals can help each other in the process.
With advantages like these, it is easy to see why executives prefer executive drug rehab. For many people, it is just the right enticement to help them start a treatment program. In the end, any steps towards recovery should be supported and endorsed.
1. Heightened level of privacy and security
One significant issue that many executives worry about is the release of private information about their drug use or information they state about their company in their counseling sessions. Executive drub rehab is ideally suited to deal with these issues because these facilities have a higher level of privacy and security measures and standards than other regular facilities. This is good news for execs because it means they can feel more comfortable opening up in sessions allowing them to get more out of the drug treatment program.
2. Staff and programs dedicated specifically to executive issues
When you have staff and programs focused on a particular issue or group of clients, it is far easier to develop effective programs for them. The staff and doctors learn from experience what issues are the most important and what negative behaviors are more likely to become problems with execs. In addition, the participants have a higher level of respect and belief in the program because they know that the staff and doctors have experience dealing with patients like them in the past.
3. Groups are made up entirely of similarly situated individuals
Many people benefit by simply knowing that other people in the room deal with the same struggles. Hearing about others challenges with their jobs and businesses can actually help others open up about their experiences. The result is the groups become more close knit and individuals can help each other in the process.
With advantages like these, it is easy to see why executives prefer executive drug rehab. For many people, it is just the right enticement to help them start a treatment program. In the end, any steps towards recovery should be supported and endorsed.
Jumat, 12 Desember 2008
Get Your Ex Love Back
With the right methods you can get help with getting your ex back into you life. Being heartbroken is so difficult and the emotions we experience are unbelievably painful. At this point in people´s lives they often realize what a huge mistake breaking up was.
Now, realizing this, you must give yourself and your ex girlfriend some time to think things over and cool down a bit. With all the painful emotions you are not thinking rationally so it is best to get your thoughts together. Since you broke up in the first place there must have been something not quite perfect in your relationship. Take this time to think about what went wrong. And then you can think about getting you ex girlfriend back.
After your thinking period you must be strong and resist the urge to call her. Don´t even think about text messaging her. And even if you´d love nothing more in the world than to send her chocolate or flowers you have to be strong and do no such thing. If you are serious about getting your ex girlfriend back you must avoid contacting her.
With that being said your ex girlfriend will start wondering why you are not behaving like a child. This will get her to call you to see how you are doing and if you still care. Now, at this point you have to stay focused, you do not want to lose your cool so you must act politely and together. Tell her you need time to think things over and you will call her back in a few days and you can talk more then. It is essential to getting your ex girlfriend back that the first contact after the break up is in this manner.
The reason for this somewhat "cold" response on your behalf is to get your ex to realize that she might lose you for good. She will realize her mistakes and want you back. Just remember, in your thinking period you learned something about your relationship with her, what went wrong, and for your relationship to be healthy and happy you have to discuss this with her and find away for you to make it work this time.
Now, realizing this, you must give yourself and your ex girlfriend some time to think things over and cool down a bit. With all the painful emotions you are not thinking rationally so it is best to get your thoughts together. Since you broke up in the first place there must have been something not quite perfect in your relationship. Take this time to think about what went wrong. And then you can think about getting you ex girlfriend back.
After your thinking period you must be strong and resist the urge to call her. Don´t even think about text messaging her. And even if you´d love nothing more in the world than to send her chocolate or flowers you have to be strong and do no such thing. If you are serious about getting your ex girlfriend back you must avoid contacting her.
With that being said your ex girlfriend will start wondering why you are not behaving like a child. This will get her to call you to see how you are doing and if you still care. Now, at this point you have to stay focused, you do not want to lose your cool so you must act politely and together. Tell her you need time to think things over and you will call her back in a few days and you can talk more then. It is essential to getting your ex girlfriend back that the first contact after the break up is in this manner.
The reason for this somewhat "cold" response on your behalf is to get your ex to realize that she might lose you for good. She will realize her mistakes and want you back. Just remember, in your thinking period you learned something about your relationship with her, what went wrong, and for your relationship to be healthy and happy you have to discuss this with her and find away for you to make it work this time.
Senin, 08 Desember 2008
We Love Our House Plants - Watering House Plants is the Key
People talk to their plants because we know that makes them happy, there is a sense of peacefulness and companionship with our plants that resonates on a cellular level. It is for this reason that we all know that folks will spend whatever it takes to keep their house plants safe and secure and properly watered. Ah, but therein lies the biggest problem.
How much water is needed to help your house plants grow happy and healthy? Well, it obviously depends on the species of plant. But how on Earth can anyone know, which plants get what amount of water? Many folks have several or more species of plants in their home. I know I have some 11 different species of plants in this place.
This is why I decided to seek expert advice from someone that knows; Sunset Books. Yes, that is right, I went out and picked up a "How to" book on house plants and why not, like you, I care about my plants, they make me happy and I want what is best for them. They bring me joy and I make sure they have fertile soil and the right amount of water too.
How much water is needed to help your house plants grow happy and healthy? Well, it obviously depends on the species of plant. But how on Earth can anyone know, which plants get what amount of water? Many folks have several or more species of plants in their home. I know I have some 11 different species of plants in this place.
This is why I decided to seek expert advice from someone that knows; Sunset Books. Yes, that is right, I went out and picked up a "How to" book on house plants and why not, like you, I care about my plants, they make me happy and I want what is best for them. They bring me joy and I make sure they have fertile soil and the right amount of water too.
Jumat, 05 Desember 2008
8 Grand Love Letter Ideas
Is preparation really necessary? That's debatable.
Sure, you can write a love letter on a whim with no thought whatsoever. I suggest you do that, there's certainly a place for it - it's spontaneous, it's fun and it's sincere (often times). So go for it; that is, if you can.
But the problem is that it's not so easy for some.
And even for those who can, an unhurried, deliberate and well-planned love letter is much better. Of course that's my opinion, but here's why I feel that way. It shows you care, that you're not always in a hurry, that you're willing to take time out of your busy schedule and do nothing but think about her, do something for her. Like write her a very special love letter or better yet, a series of love letters.
Be resolute and don't delay.
Decide what you want to write about - there are literally thousands of things to say. You're limited only by your unlimited imagination. It's true, but if you're imagination seems to have stalled then maybe one of these eight ideas will help jump-start it.
There are literally thousands of things to say... you're limited only by your unlimited imagination.
Take them and use them, be my guest. Some may be new (or at least new to you), but others are old, tried and tested. Pick one, pick them all.
Eight Grand Love Letter Ideas
1. Just because
2. Top 10
3. Best of the month
4. The treasure hunt
5. The secret message
6. The plot
7. Dream it
8. If you were
Love Letter Idea # 1 - Just because
Write about whatever moves you. Think of your special someone and ask yourself who, what, where, why, when, how. Write from your heart.
Love Letter Idea # 2 - Top 10
"...reasons I love you," "...places we've been," "...things you say," "...adorable habits," "etc..."
Love Letter Idea # 3 - Best of the month
Slow down and take notice. Soak up every minute you have. Enjoy the way her hair falls across her cheek, her dimples, her smile, the way she moves, talks and laughs. Remember the jokes, the stories and the dreams. I know you could list a thousand things if you just took the time. Well, take the time! Record the best things in your journal. One day each month, review them and pick your favorite. Now write her a love letter .. "the way your hair falls across your cheeks... softly, lovely, ..."
Love Letter Idea # 4 - The treasure hunt
Buy something nice and hide it. Write a love letter a day hinting to its location.
Love Letter Idea # 5 - The secret message
Write a letter with a dual message. It's just a regular old letter until you apply the decoder - then you see the love letter appear.
Love Letter Idea # 6 - The plot
Remake your favorite romantic movie or book with you and your true love as the leading man and lady. Blueprint the book and send her a page or a chapter at a time. You can do it.
Love Letter Idea # 7 - Dream it
Imagine a life with no constraints for you and your true love. Take her into your dreams and don't leave out a single detail... "the color of her sandals...," "the flower in her hair," ...
Love Letter Idea # 8 - If you were
If you were a melody, a desert, a landscape, a book, a movie, etc.
So there you have it, eight grand love letter ideas. Now start WRITE-ing a love letter of your own.
Sure, you can write a love letter on a whim with no thought whatsoever. I suggest you do that, there's certainly a place for it - it's spontaneous, it's fun and it's sincere (often times). So go for it; that is, if you can.
But the problem is that it's not so easy for some.
And even for those who can, an unhurried, deliberate and well-planned love letter is much better. Of course that's my opinion, but here's why I feel that way. It shows you care, that you're not always in a hurry, that you're willing to take time out of your busy schedule and do nothing but think about her, do something for her. Like write her a very special love letter or better yet, a series of love letters.
Be resolute and don't delay.
Decide what you want to write about - there are literally thousands of things to say. You're limited only by your unlimited imagination. It's true, but if you're imagination seems to have stalled then maybe one of these eight ideas will help jump-start it.
There are literally thousands of things to say... you're limited only by your unlimited imagination.
Take them and use them, be my guest. Some may be new (or at least new to you), but others are old, tried and tested. Pick one, pick them all.
Eight Grand Love Letter Ideas
1. Just because
2. Top 10
3. Best of the month
4. The treasure hunt
5. The secret message
6. The plot
7. Dream it
8. If you were
Love Letter Idea # 1 - Just because
Write about whatever moves you. Think of your special someone and ask yourself who, what, where, why, when, how. Write from your heart.
Love Letter Idea # 2 - Top 10
"...reasons I love you," "...places we've been," "...things you say," "...adorable habits," "etc..."
Love Letter Idea # 3 - Best of the month
Slow down and take notice. Soak up every minute you have. Enjoy the way her hair falls across her cheek, her dimples, her smile, the way she moves, talks and laughs. Remember the jokes, the stories and the dreams. I know you could list a thousand things if you just took the time. Well, take the time! Record the best things in your journal. One day each month, review them and pick your favorite. Now write her a love letter .. "the way your hair falls across your cheeks... softly, lovely, ..."
Love Letter Idea # 4 - The treasure hunt
Buy something nice and hide it. Write a love letter a day hinting to its location.
Love Letter Idea # 5 - The secret message
Write a letter with a dual message. It's just a regular old letter until you apply the decoder - then you see the love letter appear.
Love Letter Idea # 6 - The plot
Remake your favorite romantic movie or book with you and your true love as the leading man and lady. Blueprint the book and send her a page or a chapter at a time. You can do it.
Love Letter Idea # 7 - Dream it
Imagine a life with no constraints for you and your true love. Take her into your dreams and don't leave out a single detail... "the color of her sandals...," "the flower in her hair," ...
Love Letter Idea # 8 - If you were
If you were a melody, a desert, a landscape, a book, a movie, etc.
So there you have it, eight grand love letter ideas. Now start WRITE-ing a love letter of your own.
Selasa, 02 Desember 2008
Do You Love the Job You're In?
Let's say you work an average of 40 hours a week, you started work when you were 20 years old and retired at 65.
That's 93 600 hours of your life, or a solid 10 years, devoted to work. If you consider that you spend another huge chunk of your life sleeping, work is a big part of our existence so isn't natural that we want it to be a happy existence?
It would appear not as I've never met one person, who worked for someone else, that loved, let alone, thoroughly enjoyed most aspects of their job.
It made me think of a tidbit I heard during a recent seminar about a survey asking critically ill people what they most regretted in life:
- Not making the most of their relationships
- Not doing meaningful work, and
- Not playing enough
The last two points really had an impact on me. Nobody is sitting on their deathbed proclaiming, "I wish I bought another house." or "I should have spent more time in the office."
No, they're saying they should have loved more and lived more!
One of my favorite quotes is by Neale Donald Walsch, "How can you think of wasting a moment doing something for a living you don't like to do? What kind of a living is that? That is not a living, that is a dying!"
If we spend workdays craving 5pm or the weekend does that indicate work that is meaningful or fulfilling? And why do we always consider our 'playtime' outside the hours of 9am-5pm? Why are a majority of us filling our precious lives with unsatisfying work?
Some answers, and what you can do about it, follow.
++ You Fell Into It ++
You've had the same type of job from day one and all that may have changed is the company you work for or your job title.
At one stage you had great dreams of what you aspired to be. Standing in front of the mirror singing into a hairbrush experiencing the bliss of being a pop star. Running through the backyard with a hose fighting imaginary fires. Peering through a microscope's lens intrigued by the cells moving before you.
In youth we're often clear what we want to be when we grow up. But then something happens, some would say life, others would say bad luck or even reality.
Basically it's the gap between what you dreamed of and the work you're currently doing that causes dissatisfaction.
++ You Feel Stuck and Don't Have a Choice ++
You have a mortgage, kids to feed, not enough education or no time.
So you've chosen a job that reflects your circumstances. You're basically trading time for money to pay for a life you're not thoroughly enjoying.
++ You're Numb ++
You get up, go to the bathroom, have a shower, eat breakfast, get dressed, walk to the bus stop, arrive at work, work, eat lunch, work some more, come home, eat dinner and go to bed. REPEAT. Sure, our lives are busier and more colorful than that, but essentially these steps are present each weekday. You exist in an unconsciously competent state, similar to driving a car where you get from A to B without thinking about it. Same thing with work, you're going through the motion. You know something 'just ain't right' but you don't know what it is, and even if you did, you wouldn't know how to get out of it. There are a plethora of reasons: your job is your identity, you're continually looking for the 'perfect' role, society made you do it, or in some cases, your parents. There are a dozens of reason but all you know is that when it comes to your career you feel stuck in a chasm, in the abyss, between a rock and hard place. The great thing is, if you look up, you see a glimmer of light and that's called possibility. You can make a change, a choice to do something differently in your life, escape the 'stuck-ness' and seek fulfillment. It may seem overwhelming, a task too big to even consider, but don't forget the adage.
"How do you eat an elephant?"
"One bite at a time."
Apply the same approach to seeking a fulfilling work life. Once you've figured out WHY you're in the job you're in, here's some actions you can take to create a more fulfilling work life.
** Create Choice & Change **
What can you do when you don't have much choice? Well the fact that you're doing nothing is a choice in itself. If you want your life to change you have to 'do' something about it, they can be large or small choices, but they are essential. A few months a go I worked in marketing consulting. One day I asked my husband, "Why are we both working like crazy so we can live in an apartment we never see and create a life of things we never enjoy?" A month later I quit that job and went into 'retirement'. I decided that I was going to do something different for once in my life - nothing. How could I afford to do that you may ask? I wanted to make a change so I had to make some choices. Firstly, we decided to sell our investment property which pretty much got rid of our major debt and reduced our mortgage to a very manageable $600 a month. We also decided to move into a house after paying a crippling $52,000 special levy the year before on our condo. Instead of staying in the suburb we currently lived in where we would have to get another huge mortgage, we opened our minds to the possibility of a different area where we could buy something for cash. I also decided that I had enough shoes, handbags, clothes and other material things for the time being so I stopped the shopping addiction that often kept me caught in the trap of: I don't like my work, I'll buy something to cheer me up, now I have to work to pay for what I bought. All these things were huge changes for me and at times I was uncomfortable.
Months later I was speaking to a motivational consultant on the topic of choice and change and I reflected, "When I made the choice to opt-out of the corporate world to create a life I experienced, instead of just watched, I thought I was making a sacrifice. But you know what, when you're on the other side of it, there really is no sacrifice, just decisions which create circumstances that make you happy or unhappy."
In that moment I realized, that at the time, I thought I was giving up a lot, in reality, I had lost nothing and gained more than I could have imagined.
I spent more time with my husband and pets, I got to see the sun during the day instead of starting and ending my day in darkness, I created time to do the things I always put off like walks on the beach or reading in bed.
So the choice to change doesn't have to be a scary one, on the contrary, it can be very freeing.
** Create Happiness **
Follow your bliss. That's easier said than done. My friend Jo once said, "I don' even know what makes me happy anymore because I spend so much time making sure everybody else is." Do you remember what makes you happy? Think back to experiences that made you smile, laugh out loud, proud or warmed your heart. What were you doing and what choices are you going to make to reclaim your happiness.
** Have the Right Attitude **
When graphic designer Bev was asked how she started doing the job she now loves she said, "I changed my attitude. I also chose to start doing things I really enjoyed but never thought I had the time to do. Finding the time to do them really enabled me to become more creative, less stressed out and more fulfilled which in turn affected my working relationships." Attitude was key to Bev's success. Consider this, if you wake up thinking, "Great it's Tuesday, I've got to go to work." You're not really starting the day off with an, "I'm going to have a great day" attitude. And how you start the day is often how you end it as it's challenging to break the cycle once you're in it. So make the choice to create the right attitude.
** Just Start **
To be happier in your work life you need to start doing things differently. If you don't, you're practicing the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. It might be worthwhile to start changing your attitude towards your job like Bev did. Instead of thinking, "Oh no" when the alarm goes off consider, "I'm going to make the best of this day". It's a small change, but it's a start! What else can you start doing? Look on the Internet for a new position or course to add to your skills. Start thinking about what you really enjoy doing and explore how you can turn that into paid work (it can even be part-time to begin with). Maybe you can start clearing some of the circumstances in your life that keep you stuck: do the children really have to go to private school, do you need the latest model car? Keeping up with the Jones is what keeps us suffering. I remember when I was in jobs I loathed I always felt better when I started applying for other positions. It felt good to do something other than just moan about it.
** Keep Moving and Motivated **
Once you decide to make a positive change in your job it's important to motivate yourself along the journey. It's like exercise; you have to consistently put in the effort to achieve the desired result. You also need to up the ante from time to time so your fitness doesn't plateau but continues to move you towards your goals. Perhaps you've decided the company you're currently in isn't for you and are looking for a new job. If you go for a few interviews and nothing becomes of it you have to remind yourself why you're doing what you're doing in order to keep yourself motivated. After 12 job interviews Samantha was becoming discouraged, "I was over the whole process: searching for work, sending resumes, going to meet people and then nothing happening. Then I thought about why I was looking for another job and it was because I was in a position where I was no longer learning anything and I felt my skills weren't being appreciated. I used that to motivate me."
In the end Samantha landed her dream job. "I believe everything is for a reason and the fact that I didn't get those other roles was because there was a more fulfilling job waiting for me - and I got it!" Remember, there's inspiration in doing something you love, or even enjoying the process of getting there, and you probably don't realize it but you're positively affecting others along the way. Right now you're spending a majority of your time at work, why not make it great!
That's 93 600 hours of your life, or a solid 10 years, devoted to work. If you consider that you spend another huge chunk of your life sleeping, work is a big part of our existence so isn't natural that we want it to be a happy existence?
It would appear not as I've never met one person, who worked for someone else, that loved, let alone, thoroughly enjoyed most aspects of their job.
It made me think of a tidbit I heard during a recent seminar about a survey asking critically ill people what they most regretted in life:
- Not making the most of their relationships
- Not doing meaningful work, and
- Not playing enough
The last two points really had an impact on me. Nobody is sitting on their deathbed proclaiming, "I wish I bought another house." or "I should have spent more time in the office."
No, they're saying they should have loved more and lived more!
One of my favorite quotes is by Neale Donald Walsch, "How can you think of wasting a moment doing something for a living you don't like to do? What kind of a living is that? That is not a living, that is a dying!"
If we spend workdays craving 5pm or the weekend does that indicate work that is meaningful or fulfilling? And why do we always consider our 'playtime' outside the hours of 9am-5pm? Why are a majority of us filling our precious lives with unsatisfying work?
Some answers, and what you can do about it, follow.
++ You Fell Into It ++
You've had the same type of job from day one and all that may have changed is the company you work for or your job title.
At one stage you had great dreams of what you aspired to be. Standing in front of the mirror singing into a hairbrush experiencing the bliss of being a pop star. Running through the backyard with a hose fighting imaginary fires. Peering through a microscope's lens intrigued by the cells moving before you.
In youth we're often clear what we want to be when we grow up. But then something happens, some would say life, others would say bad luck or even reality.
Basically it's the gap between what you dreamed of and the work you're currently doing that causes dissatisfaction.
++ You Feel Stuck and Don't Have a Choice ++
You have a mortgage, kids to feed, not enough education or no time.
So you've chosen a job that reflects your circumstances. You're basically trading time for money to pay for a life you're not thoroughly enjoying.
++ You're Numb ++
You get up, go to the bathroom, have a shower, eat breakfast, get dressed, walk to the bus stop, arrive at work, work, eat lunch, work some more, come home, eat dinner and go to bed. REPEAT. Sure, our lives are busier and more colorful than that, but essentially these steps are present each weekday. You exist in an unconsciously competent state, similar to driving a car where you get from A to B without thinking about it. Same thing with work, you're going through the motion. You know something 'just ain't right' but you don't know what it is, and even if you did, you wouldn't know how to get out of it. There are a plethora of reasons: your job is your identity, you're continually looking for the 'perfect' role, society made you do it, or in some cases, your parents. There are a dozens of reason but all you know is that when it comes to your career you feel stuck in a chasm, in the abyss, between a rock and hard place. The great thing is, if you look up, you see a glimmer of light and that's called possibility. You can make a change, a choice to do something differently in your life, escape the 'stuck-ness' and seek fulfillment. It may seem overwhelming, a task too big to even consider, but don't forget the adage.
"How do you eat an elephant?"
"One bite at a time."
Apply the same approach to seeking a fulfilling work life. Once you've figured out WHY you're in the job you're in, here's some actions you can take to create a more fulfilling work life.
** Create Choice & Change **
What can you do when you don't have much choice? Well the fact that you're doing nothing is a choice in itself. If you want your life to change you have to 'do' something about it, they can be large or small choices, but they are essential. A few months a go I worked in marketing consulting. One day I asked my husband, "Why are we both working like crazy so we can live in an apartment we never see and create a life of things we never enjoy?" A month later I quit that job and went into 'retirement'. I decided that I was going to do something different for once in my life - nothing. How could I afford to do that you may ask? I wanted to make a change so I had to make some choices. Firstly, we decided to sell our investment property which pretty much got rid of our major debt and reduced our mortgage to a very manageable $600 a month. We also decided to move into a house after paying a crippling $52,000 special levy the year before on our condo. Instead of staying in the suburb we currently lived in where we would have to get another huge mortgage, we opened our minds to the possibility of a different area where we could buy something for cash. I also decided that I had enough shoes, handbags, clothes and other material things for the time being so I stopped the shopping addiction that often kept me caught in the trap of: I don't like my work, I'll buy something to cheer me up, now I have to work to pay for what I bought. All these things were huge changes for me and at times I was uncomfortable.
Months later I was speaking to a motivational consultant on the topic of choice and change and I reflected, "When I made the choice to opt-out of the corporate world to create a life I experienced, instead of just watched, I thought I was making a sacrifice. But you know what, when you're on the other side of it, there really is no sacrifice, just decisions which create circumstances that make you happy or unhappy."
In that moment I realized, that at the time, I thought I was giving up a lot, in reality, I had lost nothing and gained more than I could have imagined.
I spent more time with my husband and pets, I got to see the sun during the day instead of starting and ending my day in darkness, I created time to do the things I always put off like walks on the beach or reading in bed.
So the choice to change doesn't have to be a scary one, on the contrary, it can be very freeing.
** Create Happiness **
Follow your bliss. That's easier said than done. My friend Jo once said, "I don' even know what makes me happy anymore because I spend so much time making sure everybody else is." Do you remember what makes you happy? Think back to experiences that made you smile, laugh out loud, proud or warmed your heart. What were you doing and what choices are you going to make to reclaim your happiness.
** Have the Right Attitude **
When graphic designer Bev was asked how she started doing the job she now loves she said, "I changed my attitude. I also chose to start doing things I really enjoyed but never thought I had the time to do. Finding the time to do them really enabled me to become more creative, less stressed out and more fulfilled which in turn affected my working relationships." Attitude was key to Bev's success. Consider this, if you wake up thinking, "Great it's Tuesday, I've got to go to work." You're not really starting the day off with an, "I'm going to have a great day" attitude. And how you start the day is often how you end it as it's challenging to break the cycle once you're in it. So make the choice to create the right attitude.
** Just Start **
To be happier in your work life you need to start doing things differently. If you don't, you're practicing the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. It might be worthwhile to start changing your attitude towards your job like Bev did. Instead of thinking, "Oh no" when the alarm goes off consider, "I'm going to make the best of this day". It's a small change, but it's a start! What else can you start doing? Look on the Internet for a new position or course to add to your skills. Start thinking about what you really enjoy doing and explore how you can turn that into paid work (it can even be part-time to begin with). Maybe you can start clearing some of the circumstances in your life that keep you stuck: do the children really have to go to private school, do you need the latest model car? Keeping up with the Jones is what keeps us suffering. I remember when I was in jobs I loathed I always felt better when I started applying for other positions. It felt good to do something other than just moan about it.
** Keep Moving and Motivated **
Once you decide to make a positive change in your job it's important to motivate yourself along the journey. It's like exercise; you have to consistently put in the effort to achieve the desired result. You also need to up the ante from time to time so your fitness doesn't plateau but continues to move you towards your goals. Perhaps you've decided the company you're currently in isn't for you and are looking for a new job. If you go for a few interviews and nothing becomes of it you have to remind yourself why you're doing what you're doing in order to keep yourself motivated. After 12 job interviews Samantha was becoming discouraged, "I was over the whole process: searching for work, sending resumes, going to meet people and then nothing happening. Then I thought about why I was looking for another job and it was because I was in a position where I was no longer learning anything and I felt my skills weren't being appreciated. I used that to motivate me."
In the end Samantha landed her dream job. "I believe everything is for a reason and the fact that I didn't get those other roles was because there was a more fulfilling job waiting for me - and I got it!" Remember, there's inspiration in doing something you love, or even enjoying the process of getting there, and you probably don't realize it but you're positively affecting others along the way. Right now you're spending a majority of your time at work, why not make it great!
Sabtu, 29 November 2008
Get Rid of Love Handles - The 3 Best Exercises to Get Rid of Love Handles
Getting rid of your love handles doesn't have to the painful chore that many folks make it out to be. In fact there are many exercises you can do to get rid of your love handles quickly and easily.
Here I'm going to show you 3 of the best exercises to get rid of love handles.
Side Twists - An often forgotten and neglected exercise in most routines to get rid of love handles is the good old side twist. You can get a stick or other short pole and rest it behind your head along your shoulders with your hands on either end, and then twist your torso from one side to the other, taking care not to do it too fast, as you won't feel the benefit.
The reason for the pole is to help you maintain a straight back, and keep your legs straight. It%u2019s important to keep your hips facing forward throughout the exercise and not let them twist, as twisting your hips will mean you lose the effect of the exercise and risk injury.
I recommend you start with 2 sets of 20 repetitions. They are fairly easy and a great way to finish a workout. Increase the reps as you get more experienced. The more advanced of you can try an alternative using weights - side bends.
Side Bends - Hold a dumbbell in each hand by your sides, with your feet facing forward and a shoulder-width apart. Without allowing your back to curl forward, bend your torso slowly to one side, until you feel a little stretch in your side muscles. Slowly straighten back up into the start position, and repeat the exercise going the other way. One full movement from the left side to right side and back to the middle equals 1 repetition.
I recommend you start with 2 sets of 10 repetitions using light dumbbells, and see how you get on, increasing weight and repetitions as you go.
This exercise is best performed slowly and controlled, with the added benefit of the extra weight being held in each hand. They are great for toning and tightening the oblique muscles on the sides of the abdominals, as well as the lower back muscles. This will help you to get rid of love handles, and improve your posture and back strength.
Twisting Crunches - These are an excellent way to get rid of love handles and if you've ever done crunches before you'll probably know what these are.
Lay with your back on the floor, knees bent and feet flat on the floor. Cross one leg over the other so the foot is resting on the opposite knee. With your hands on the side of your head, slowly crunch your abdominals as if you were trying to lift your chest toward the ceiling, and as you reach the apex of the crunch twist your torso towards the knee that is lifted off the floor. Slowly roll your torso back to the start position. Repeat for the desired number of repetitions, and repeat on the other side, switching your legs over. 1 set of 10 - 20 repetitions should be fine to begin with, increasing as you gain experience and strength.
The numbers are not so important as the form that you maintain during the exercise to get rid of love handles. Many people make the mistake of pulling on their head and bending their back during this exercise. By doing that you will risk injury to your back, not work your abdominals and obliques, and not get rid of love handles. You MUST lift your chest towards the ceiling, as you'll feel the benefit immediately. Try to maintain tension in your abdominals all throughout the exercise to get an extra boost.
Here I'm going to show you 3 of the best exercises to get rid of love handles.
Side Twists - An often forgotten and neglected exercise in most routines to get rid of love handles is the good old side twist. You can get a stick or other short pole and rest it behind your head along your shoulders with your hands on either end, and then twist your torso from one side to the other, taking care not to do it too fast, as you won't feel the benefit.
The reason for the pole is to help you maintain a straight back, and keep your legs straight. It%u2019s important to keep your hips facing forward throughout the exercise and not let them twist, as twisting your hips will mean you lose the effect of the exercise and risk injury.
I recommend you start with 2 sets of 20 repetitions. They are fairly easy and a great way to finish a workout. Increase the reps as you get more experienced. The more advanced of you can try an alternative using weights - side bends.
Side Bends - Hold a dumbbell in each hand by your sides, with your feet facing forward and a shoulder-width apart. Without allowing your back to curl forward, bend your torso slowly to one side, until you feel a little stretch in your side muscles. Slowly straighten back up into the start position, and repeat the exercise going the other way. One full movement from the left side to right side and back to the middle equals 1 repetition.
I recommend you start with 2 sets of 10 repetitions using light dumbbells, and see how you get on, increasing weight and repetitions as you go.
This exercise is best performed slowly and controlled, with the added benefit of the extra weight being held in each hand. They are great for toning and tightening the oblique muscles on the sides of the abdominals, as well as the lower back muscles. This will help you to get rid of love handles, and improve your posture and back strength.
Twisting Crunches - These are an excellent way to get rid of love handles and if you've ever done crunches before you'll probably know what these are.
Lay with your back on the floor, knees bent and feet flat on the floor. Cross one leg over the other so the foot is resting on the opposite knee. With your hands on the side of your head, slowly crunch your abdominals as if you were trying to lift your chest toward the ceiling, and as you reach the apex of the crunch twist your torso towards the knee that is lifted off the floor. Slowly roll your torso back to the start position. Repeat for the desired number of repetitions, and repeat on the other side, switching your legs over. 1 set of 10 - 20 repetitions should be fine to begin with, increasing as you gain experience and strength.
The numbers are not so important as the form that you maintain during the exercise to get rid of love handles. Many people make the mistake of pulling on their head and bending their back during this exercise. By doing that you will risk injury to your back, not work your abdominals and obliques, and not get rid of love handles. You MUST lift your chest towards the ceiling, as you'll feel the benefit immediately. Try to maintain tension in your abdominals all throughout the exercise to get an extra boost.
Rabu, 26 November 2008
Cruise Basics - I Love Taking Cruises This Much
I love cruises so much that whenever I take a shower, I imagine my washroom swaying like it would if I were on a moving cruise ship. Even though I only go about once a year, my memories are so vivid that some experiences are anchored into my brain.
I love cruises so much that I start applying skin cream months in advance to ensure that I am not going to have itchy skin while I'm on my cruise. I live in a cold climate so every year, without exception, my skin become dry and itchy in the winter. I do not want to feel itchy while I am in my winter paradise so I take proactive steps to make sure that does not become a factor that might hinder my enjoyment of the cruise. I floss for the same reason. I usually do not floss, but I start about two weeks before my cruise because I do not want a sore mouth to detract from my Utopian experience.
I start planning a lot of things months in advance. I usually cruise in February so I start searching in December for my passport, health insurance, cruise documents. I begin packing in the fall because that way I can put my summer clothes directly into my suitcase instead of in boxes.
I really love cruises, so much that as soon as I return from one, I immediately begin researching my next one. I begin comparing prices among the major cruise lines. As well as the places that I want to see next and I start all over again.
I love cruises so much that I start applying skin cream months in advance to ensure that I am not going to have itchy skin while I'm on my cruise. I live in a cold climate so every year, without exception, my skin become dry and itchy in the winter. I do not want to feel itchy while I am in my winter paradise so I take proactive steps to make sure that does not become a factor that might hinder my enjoyment of the cruise. I floss for the same reason. I usually do not floss, but I start about two weeks before my cruise because I do not want a sore mouth to detract from my Utopian experience.
I start planning a lot of things months in advance. I usually cruise in February so I start searching in December for my passport, health insurance, cruise documents. I begin packing in the fall because that way I can put my summer clothes directly into my suitcase instead of in boxes.
I really love cruises, so much that as soon as I return from one, I immediately begin researching my next one. I begin comparing prices among the major cruise lines. As well as the places that I want to see next and I start all over again.
Minggu, 23 November 2008
Are You Desperate For Love?
Everyone craves to love and be loved in return. This is a basic essential of life. But how much do we love ourselves? How often do we acknowledge the qualities that we have instead of desiring to be someone else? Some people think that the only way to be happy is when people love them and accept them is not true. Love is like a mirror. It is a reflection of who we are. So if you don't love yourself, you wont be able to love someone else and be loved in return.
Sometimes we go to the wrong places searching desperately for love and end up getting hurt or heartbroken. Some have pre-conceived ideas of what love should be and when they get hold of it, they cling tenaciously to it. This is desperation! And it doesn't stay. It doesn't last because desperation has a way of pushing everything it touches away especially love. The things you are desperate about sense it and runaway. So stop being desperate. Be gentle with life
There is a secret to attraction and that secret deals with been able to appreciate yourself first. In appreciating yourself you must begin to see yourself in a different light; begin to act, sound and look good and be confident of yourself. When you begin to feel good about yourself, you radiate a form of energy that enables other people to see you in the light in which you see yourself.
One simple truth about love is that you can't make people stay. You can't force them to love you. You can't even make them change their minds about the things that are important to them; the things they want more than they want you. But you can be happy loving yourself and accepting others as they are because Love is in you; in your smiles, your laughter, your cares, your genuine concerns, it is all around you! It is your passion and your strength. It is life itself. It is also your genuineness towards other people.So don't worry about been loved. Just love yourself. Give yourself a treat. You deserve it!
Sometimes we go to the wrong places searching desperately for love and end up getting hurt or heartbroken. Some have pre-conceived ideas of what love should be and when they get hold of it, they cling tenaciously to it. This is desperation! And it doesn't stay. It doesn't last because desperation has a way of pushing everything it touches away especially love. The things you are desperate about sense it and runaway. So stop being desperate. Be gentle with life
There is a secret to attraction and that secret deals with been able to appreciate yourself first. In appreciating yourself you must begin to see yourself in a different light; begin to act, sound and look good and be confident of yourself. When you begin to feel good about yourself, you radiate a form of energy that enables other people to see you in the light in which you see yourself.
One simple truth about love is that you can't make people stay. You can't force them to love you. You can't even make them change their minds about the things that are important to them; the things they want more than they want you. But you can be happy loving yourself and accepting others as they are because Love is in you; in your smiles, your laughter, your cares, your genuine concerns, it is all around you! It is your passion and your strength. It is life itself. It is also your genuineness towards other people.So don't worry about been loved. Just love yourself. Give yourself a treat. You deserve it!
Kamis, 20 November 2008
I Love You, You Love Me, We're a Happy Family
All you need is love- The Beatles
When my nephew became a father, I told him that I think we bring our children to life to learn to love ourselves.
The birth of our first child is always the greatest opportunity to live our life again - a second childhood, only this time we're taller, more coordinated and a bit wiser. I remember looking at my newborn daughter with my heart full of feelings I'd never had and loving her with every cell of my body. She did nothing. She was tiny and her eyes were closed most of the time. She just had to be there for me to have that feeling. I remember Gal holding her the first time and saying, "I don't know you, but I already love you so much". It's funny how babies don't need to do anything to be loved. They just need to be.
I wonder when this rule fades or when we, parents, forget it. I remember in those moments I imagined my mum and dad looking at me like that and I knew, with 100% certainty, that love is born with the birth of your child and that I was loved, very much loved.
The perception of love, you see, changes when you become a parent. For me, it was a great realisation mixed with sadness. It was a great feeling knowing how much my parents loved me and it was sad that I only realized it when I became a mother. I couldn't stop thinking of all the previous years, when I needed that feeling during my schooling years - my fights, challenges, obstacles, my fears, failures and disappointments. Realizing my parents loved me when I was an adult was not enough to change the past. It's as if their "love account" was full but I didn't have the "access card" or they didn't provide a "withdrawal facility". In other words, I wasn't able to see it or they couldn't express it. Maybe because they didn't have the skills to withdraw from their parents' love...
Can you see the cycle? Love was there all around, but no one knew how to pass it on.
Do your children know how much you love them?
Do you ever say, "If they only knew how much I love them"? Especially in times of conflict, many parents feel like their kids just don't know, even though they love them dearly. The difference between parents' and children's definitions of love is natural. People form their definition of love thanks to their life experience and closest life agents - parents, family, friends and teachers. There's a 20-year of cultural, generational and experience gap between parents and children and the question is actually who is responsible? Do we need to give or do they need to receive?
Love is a give-and-receive relationship. Assuming the love account is full, the giving and the receiving must match. Yes, loving somebody else is not enough if they don't feel it. Frustrating as it is, knowing how to receive love is not genetic and it is also our responsibility to teach. So when you ask yourself "if they only knew?" think of the answer. How would their life be if they only knew? Just imagine them knowing you love them throughout their life, their challenges, their failures and fears.
I remember asking myself this question when my son was seven. I imagined him at the age of 16, going through the challenges of adolescence, and looked for an idea to establish a withdraw facility to my full love account and wrote him a love story waiting for him when he's ready.
Tell them how much you love them!
I love you!
I love you!
I love you!
Expressing love is paramount in our relationship with our children. Saying "I love you" is great. However, there are many ways to show them how full their "love account" is. Remember, if you don't tell your child how much you love them every day, you've wasted a day. Here are some ideas you can use:
I love you #1
Some of the first ideas were born with the birth of my "happy thought" - my daughter Eden. I started a love album with photos and love letters from me to her. From time to time, I see her going over them and reading, accessing my love.
I love you #2
I remember wanting to take a photo of every second of her life and Gal telling the kids "can you see my love in the photo? Dedicating an album to show your love is an asset to children. Make them an album.
I love you #3
Over the years, we came up with love songs, our own family love songs that we sing from time to time and every night before bedtime. Get creative or find a song you love expressing your feelings and sing it to them.
I love you #4
Lunch boxes are a great container of love. Put sticky notes full of love: hearts, kiss, encouraging words like "good luck on your test" or just plain, "I love you"
I love you #5
Dinner times are great opportunities to show love to each other. Play "what do you love about me?" games where every person needs to say two things he loves about the other family member. You start (be a role model).
I love you #6
Later in years, when the kids learned to touch type we started writing love emails to each other. Sometimes we sit next to each other, with different computers and write love to each other, funny, but written words you can keep for later.
I love you #7
A baking pan shaped like a heart can make kids really happy. It's the thought that counts anyway. It's easy to express your love by baking sweet, chocolaty, heart-shaped cakes for your kids.
I love you #8
Dedicate one evening a week to "my favourite food night". This night is dedicated to the kid's favourite food. If you have three kids, everyone gets to choose the meal once every 5 weeks (mum and dad get to choose too).
I love you #9
Touch is very important and is one of the best ways to communicate love. Remember: everyone needs 12 hugs a day, so make sure to give them all the hugs they need for a great feeling every day before bedtime.
I love you #10
Ask your children, "What can I do to make you feel loved?" You'll be surprised to hear what children have in mind. It is also wise to find out the value of every expression of love. Different kids like different things. You may be putting in a lot of effort to show love in one way when your child prefers other ways.
When my nephew became a father, I told him that I think we bring our children to life to learn to love ourselves.
The birth of our first child is always the greatest opportunity to live our life again - a second childhood, only this time we're taller, more coordinated and a bit wiser. I remember looking at my newborn daughter with my heart full of feelings I'd never had and loving her with every cell of my body. She did nothing. She was tiny and her eyes were closed most of the time. She just had to be there for me to have that feeling. I remember Gal holding her the first time and saying, "I don't know you, but I already love you so much". It's funny how babies don't need to do anything to be loved. They just need to be.
I wonder when this rule fades or when we, parents, forget it. I remember in those moments I imagined my mum and dad looking at me like that and I knew, with 100% certainty, that love is born with the birth of your child and that I was loved, very much loved.
The perception of love, you see, changes when you become a parent. For me, it was a great realisation mixed with sadness. It was a great feeling knowing how much my parents loved me and it was sad that I only realized it when I became a mother. I couldn't stop thinking of all the previous years, when I needed that feeling during my schooling years - my fights, challenges, obstacles, my fears, failures and disappointments. Realizing my parents loved me when I was an adult was not enough to change the past. It's as if their "love account" was full but I didn't have the "access card" or they didn't provide a "withdrawal facility". In other words, I wasn't able to see it or they couldn't express it. Maybe because they didn't have the skills to withdraw from their parents' love...
Can you see the cycle? Love was there all around, but no one knew how to pass it on.
Do your children know how much you love them?
Do you ever say, "If they only knew how much I love them"? Especially in times of conflict, many parents feel like their kids just don't know, even though they love them dearly. The difference between parents' and children's definitions of love is natural. People form their definition of love thanks to their life experience and closest life agents - parents, family, friends and teachers. There's a 20-year of cultural, generational and experience gap between parents and children and the question is actually who is responsible? Do we need to give or do they need to receive?
Love is a give-and-receive relationship. Assuming the love account is full, the giving and the receiving must match. Yes, loving somebody else is not enough if they don't feel it. Frustrating as it is, knowing how to receive love is not genetic and it is also our responsibility to teach. So when you ask yourself "if they only knew?" think of the answer. How would their life be if they only knew? Just imagine them knowing you love them throughout their life, their challenges, their failures and fears.
I remember asking myself this question when my son was seven. I imagined him at the age of 16, going through the challenges of adolescence, and looked for an idea to establish a withdraw facility to my full love account and wrote him a love story waiting for him when he's ready.
Tell them how much you love them!
I love you!
I love you!
I love you!
Expressing love is paramount in our relationship with our children. Saying "I love you" is great. However, there are many ways to show them how full their "love account" is. Remember, if you don't tell your child how much you love them every day, you've wasted a day. Here are some ideas you can use:
I love you #1
Some of the first ideas were born with the birth of my "happy thought" - my daughter Eden. I started a love album with photos and love letters from me to her. From time to time, I see her going over them and reading, accessing my love.
I love you #2
I remember wanting to take a photo of every second of her life and Gal telling the kids "can you see my love in the photo? Dedicating an album to show your love is an asset to children. Make them an album.
I love you #3
Over the years, we came up with love songs, our own family love songs that we sing from time to time and every night before bedtime. Get creative or find a song you love expressing your feelings and sing it to them.
I love you #4
Lunch boxes are a great container of love. Put sticky notes full of love: hearts, kiss, encouraging words like "good luck on your test" or just plain, "I love you"
I love you #5
Dinner times are great opportunities to show love to each other. Play "what do you love about me?" games where every person needs to say two things he loves about the other family member. You start (be a role model).
I love you #6
Later in years, when the kids learned to touch type we started writing love emails to each other. Sometimes we sit next to each other, with different computers and write love to each other, funny, but written words you can keep for later.
I love you #7
A baking pan shaped like a heart can make kids really happy. It's the thought that counts anyway. It's easy to express your love by baking sweet, chocolaty, heart-shaped cakes for your kids.
I love you #8
Dedicate one evening a week to "my favourite food night". This night is dedicated to the kid's favourite food. If you have three kids, everyone gets to choose the meal once every 5 weeks (mum and dad get to choose too).
I love you #9
Touch is very important and is one of the best ways to communicate love. Remember: everyone needs 12 hugs a day, so make sure to give them all the hugs they need for a great feeling every day before bedtime.
I love you #10
Ask your children, "What can I do to make you feel loved?" You'll be surprised to hear what children have in mind. It is also wise to find out the value of every expression of love. Different kids like different things. You may be putting in a lot of effort to show love in one way when your child prefers other ways.
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